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Ophelia's books
I am wondering if you have a particular book. (Well of course I do. I have many particular books.)
What book are you looking for?
The Red Lady.
Do you know the author?
No, but I can look it up.
No problem. I can look as well. (No book with the title The Red Lady comes up, but I do get a Lady in Red.)
Do you mean Lady in Red?
Is it about Hemingway? (It is a romance.)
No.
Perhaps I should have done some more research. (Hmmm, like finding out the title or author of the book before you started making phone calls?)
She calls back 10 minutes later ....
The title of the book is The Paris Wife.
I am sorry we are out of that title. (I have been looking for it for a few weeks now.)
Oh, well do you have 50 Shades of Grey? (Perhaps I should have looked for Lady in Red earlier.)
Yes we do. Are you looking for volume I, II or III?
I don't know. I am just looking for the one everyone was reading.
Well, they likely read them all. I think they probably started with volume I.
Laaaaadies and Gentlemen...
Come one, come all. Step right up and see the invisible stair case. A marvel and mystery of nature. This amazing staircase passes unseen before your eyes. Look as I point right at it and you still cannot see it. How can this be? Where is it? We can descend and ascend at will by this magical way of shrouded existence!!!!!
This time, at least, we had the book.
Every single time you come in you go straight to the counter and ask for the book. You can't look? You are here often enough to know where things are so.... When you go to the super market do you go straight to the help desk and ask where the carrots are? Or do you maybe go to the section where they might have carrots and look for them? I suppose I should be happy to sell a book.
r.
DTMF
I sometimes read the Dan Savage advice page in the stranger. Often one of the concepts or bits of advice that comes up in regards to relationships is to "Dump The Mother Fucker. " Now if we apply the idea that we as a bookstore are in a relationship with our customers and we sought advice from the Savage Love column (or others perhaps) what would they say? Likely as a whole it is on a line but certainly as individuals there would be many who rate the DTMF advice.
As I sit here I have to ask WTF. A thing that happens is the lone customer leaves a second before or after the lone customer comes in. None of whom buy anything but keep me here all but a prisoner. This is a fucking waste.
It might not be healthy ...
... how much I want to complain today.
'Where are your music biographies?'
'Down stairs under the bust of Beethoven'
man wanders back out the door.
'My husband is replacing his hardcover fantasy collection with a nook so here are three bags of books for you look through.'
'That is all you want? Do you want to make me an offer on the rest?'
'I am looking for 4 specific books and I don't know the names or authors, but can you help me with a few fragments of information like - he always reminds me of Patrick O'Brien and it is a recent E B White biography too new for you to have?'
'Would you be interested in my copy of Buzz Aldren's signed biography?'
'No'
'Yeah, it is kind of spendy.'
Do you really need to stand in my stair well to order your lunch?
'We've come to say hi to the cat.'
Humph.
'Where are your music biographies?'
'Down stairs under the bust of Beethoven'
man wanders back out the door.
'My husband is replacing his hardcover fantasy collection with a nook so here are three bags of books for you look through.'
'That is all you want? Do you want to make me an offer on the rest?'
'I am looking for 4 specific books and I don't know the names or authors, but can you help me with a few fragments of information like - he always reminds me of Patrick O'Brien and it is a recent E B White biography too new for you to have?'
'Would you be interested in my copy of Buzz Aldren's signed biography?'
'No'
'Yeah, it is kind of spendy.'
Do you really need to stand in my stair well to order your lunch?
'We've come to say hi to the cat.'
Humph.
You can't give me a deal on this one?
she asks about the $6 trade paperback in her hand as she bends it open so far that the spine breaks and the pages are now coming out.
No. I can't give you a deal ... It is a $13 book new (same edition) and you can't buy it anywhere else for less than $10.
I should exercise the 'you break it you bought it rule,' but I am going to be resentful about the incident instead.
The smell of her horrid perfume won't go away.
I expected a scathing review on Yelp soon.
Sweet.
No. I can't give you a deal ... It is a $13 book new (same edition) and you can't buy it anywhere else for less than $10.
I should exercise the 'you break it you bought it rule,' but I am going to be resentful about the incident instead.
The smell of her horrid perfume won't go away.
I expected a scathing review on Yelp soon.
Sweet.
Why ...
No matter what I bring with me to eat, it is not the right thing or not enough .... and I am stuck here wanting.
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